Pamela
Maybe you know what I tough time I'm having still, remembering your last hours with us, not as peaceful as I had prayed. I hope you felt me holding your hand and your face, I hope you heard me talking of memories past, and how many times I said I loved you. I keep seeing your eyes that couldn't see me, but I hope that you felt my presence. I hope you know you were not alone. Dan and I fought like hel* to be able to keep you at Kingsway which you called home, but it was not to be. I hate that you had to go to the Albany County Nursing Home, it was awful there, except for Frank the nurse who had a big heart and helped as best he could. I feel so much guilt that I did not bring you home with me. I know Dan is right that I probably could not have done it, but in my heart I wish I tried. They say time helps heal the pain of loss, but my healing has not begun. I know you are in a better place where loved ones welcomed you with joy and smiles. And I hope that soon my heart can heal, even just a little bit, because I know you wouldn't want to see me in pain with so many tears. Dan and I miss you so much.
Sunday January 14, 2018 at 9:37 pm